Guilt Trip

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Why is it, that as a mom, you can't do anything for yourself without feeling guilty?

While we were in EP, I needed some "me" time. A short get-a-way. I called my BFF (of 20+ years!) Lindsay in Kansas City and she said, come on over! She even offered her pack n' play and old car seat so Santi could come. But this trip was just for me. Abe is the best dad in the world and I knew he could handle a couple nights on his own. Plus, his parents are so helpful and always just a phone call away.

So I packed up my pump and set off to KC. Nothing makes me feel more like myself than traveling. I love everything about it. Naturally, I missed my loves like crazy, but I wasn't worried, not for one second. And honestly, I didn't even feel guilty about leaving. What's wrong with me? I'm suppose to feel guilty for leaving my son. But I didn't and I still don't.

As a mother, (especially heart moms!) it is so important to take time for yourself...without feeling guilty about it. Workout, get a massage, meet a friend for dinner, take a short trip! The better you feel, the better you make everyone around you feel. Everyone wins. Happy mama, happy daddy, happy bebe! I came back after my 48 hours away feeling recharged and more like my formerly independent self!

Yes! That is a ^MIMOSA^

I had an amazing time with the Littles. Their sweet Eva is 16 months and so, SO bright. Her vocabulary and comprehension just blew me away. Spending time with her gave me a beautiful glimpse of what's ahead for Santi and I.

 

Here comes the Bride!

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...and there goes the Aguilars! On to the next leg of our road trip. We drove out to Fredericksburg, TX for my sisters wedding.

But not so fast...before we could leave, we had get Mr. Santi a new car seat! Because he's growing like a weed! He loves it.

The wedding was gorgeous! It was held at a bed and breakfast called Trois Estate. Santi got to meet lots of his TX family and we all had a great time. The day after the wedding was the wine festival, an event that's become a family tradition over the past few years.

We did the drive back to El Paso (8 hours) in one shot. Santi does great in the car for long periods of time as long as someone is back there with him. Now we'll be in El Paso, enjoying time with Abe's family for a couple of weeks.

The F word

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I was torturing myself.
Pumping 7-8 times a day and barely getting enough milk for my baby. He's eating 36+ ounces a day now!

The other night I was in tears. He needed 9oz for his bedtime bottle but after depleting my frozen stash of breast milk over the past few weeks and pumping for eternity I only had 6oz! I bit the bullet and screamed the F word, FORMULA!

When I was pregnant, a doctors office sent me home with a sample of Similac. I scoffed and stuck it in the back of the pantry thinking, "I'll never use that!" Well, I swallowed my breast milk snobbery and made Santi his first bottle of formula. He gulped it down and I felt a HUGE weight lift off my shoulders.

Since then, Santi has 3 breast milk bottles and 1 formula bottle everyday. Nothing is as good for babies as breast milk and I'm happy Santi benefitted from 7 months of it exclusively. However, I'm thankful there is an acceptable alternative.

I will continue to pump and give him what's best for as long as I can. Including formula in his diet is not the end of the world. In fact it opens up a new world. One where I can relax a little more!

Santi's First road-trip

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We packed up and headed east for the next few weeks. Santiago helped me pack! The drive to El Paso is about 11 hours, so we broke it up by staying in Tucson the first night (Santi's first hotel stay). We continued on to El Paso the next day and were welcomed by a gorgeous EP sunset and a place of our own for when we visit. We now have an EP apartment that Abe's mom furnished SO BEAUTIFULLY!

 

Check Ups

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Santi visited his cardiologist and his pediatrician this week. The cardiologist was happy to tell us that his holter monitor results and X-ray both looked great. We are so boring, we don't have to go back until January!
At the pediatrician he got his third round of vaccines. Which he handled like a champ. Overall he had an excellent check up. As you can see, he's sitting up on his own quite nicely. We've seen him roll from his tummy to his back, but he hasn't rolled over from his back to his belly yet.

A new heirloom

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Santiago received the most special gift this week! My mom, grandmother and aunt Mary all worked together to make him this gorgeous floor quilt. The yellow plaid is from a sundress I had when I was 12! And all the denim is from blue jeans worn by me or my family, including my old jeans from high school! It turned out so beautiful. It is truly a new heirloom that will stay in the family for a long, long time.

New Cardiologist

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We had our first appointment with Santiago's new, local cardiologist this week. As with any change, it's going to take some getting used to. Naturally, we immediately compared him to our CHLA card, whom we loved. And we compared our overall experience with the CHLA experience. It's not that we don't like him or his office, we are just really comfortable with the way CHLA did things.

There are a few things that bothered us about our appointment:
-They wanted to weigh him with his dirty diaper on?! Honestly, What's the point? We'd have an inaccurate weight.
-They didn't think about taking his sats until half way through the appointment and when they did they used a used lead. Gross. If I realized it sooner I would have asked for a new one.
-They recommended Santi go back to taking half a baby aspirin daily.
-They recommended he go back on Enalapril (blood pressure med) daily.
-They sent him home in a Holster monitor (pictured). It's like a 24hr EKG.

However...
-We were the only people in the waiting room. Hooray for not being surrounded by coughing children!
-The office is 15 minutes from home.
-The doctor seems nice and he knows our former cardiologist.

8 weeks post-glenn

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It has been 8 weeks since Santiago had his second open heart surgery, the Glenn. We are thrilled at how fabulous he is doing. He is indeed THRIVING!

He had his first check up with his new pediatrician (in San Diego, yay!) today. He got the second round of his vaccines and he did so good. Yes, he cried, but just for a moment. He is such a trooper!
Santi isn't just thriving for an HLHS baby, he's thriving in comparison to healthy kids, the numbers don't lie.
Height 27.25 inches
Weight 17lbs 11oz
...and his big beautiful head is in the 88th percentile!

I heart San Diego

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Oh, Los Angeles. The city of angels. As a temporary resident (in a beautiful home, see photo), I can tell you that the majority of the people in LA are not angels. Far from it. Most of them are jerks. Impatient jerks who drive badly. I'd like to take this opportunity for a short PSA to the Angelenos: Everyone in LA needs to just calm down and relax. Thank you.

But there is at least one angel in LA, Dr. Starnes. We are forever indebted to him. He is our angel because he gave us our son and he gave our son a great future.

We are officially home HOME, back in Carlsbad. It feels like we can finally start living life again. Everything has been on pause for six months. But now we are home and Santi is just a normal 5 month old (with a special heart).

Six months has never passed so quickly. Six months has never been so life changing. It feels amazing to be back in our home.