Dear Santi

This time last year I was pregnant with you, but I didn't know it yet. I had no idea what the future held for us. I had no clue that my eyes and heart were about to be opened to love in the wildest, purest form.

You haven't just changed over the past two months, you have evolved. Maybe its your hair, but you don't even look like a baby to me anymore. You look like a little boy! Everyday, more of your personality reveals itself. And everyday I fall in love with you over and over again. You have the sweetest smile and a laugh that is hesitant. It crackles in the back of your throat, like you don't know what to do with it. I can't wait for the day that you stop holding back and you laugh your head off!

You are major flirt. I don't know how a four month old knows how to flirt, but you do. When you were in the hospital, every time a woman came in the room, your eyes would light up. You'd smile your big gummy smile, tuck your chin and melt her with one bat of your long eyelashes. We continued to listen to a lot of music while you were in the hospital. Your dad would sing "Beautiful Boy," by John Lennon to you. He's learning how to play it on the guitar for you right now. I sing to you all the time. My current favorite is the Bright Eyes song, "First Day of My Life."

You are currently recovering from your second open heart surgery. Oh my love, you are doing super fantastic. You are healing faster than I ever imagined. You amaze me.

Beautiful Boy
"...Out on the ocean sailing away
I can hardly wait
To see you come of age
But I guess we'll both just have to be patient...

Before you cross the street
Take my hand
Life is what happens to you
While you're busy making other plans

Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful
Beautiful boy
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful
Beautiful boy..."

First Day of My Life

"...Yours is the first face that I saw,
I think I was blind before I met you.
Now I don’t know where I am,
I don’t know where I’ve been.
But I know where I want to go..."

We love you so much.
Love, Mama