It's 4:30am

I'm wide awake and anxious. 

This has been the most restless night all week. I'm not sure if it's because we have surgery later today, or if it's because we've had an awful night nurse and assistant. Probably a little of both. Why are they awful? They have been very disruptive and inconsiderate. The type of night team that is simply checking off to-dos without being mindful of the importance of sleep for a toddler. The only thing I can do at this point is let our charge nurse know that I do not want them assigned to us again. And I will. And if you ever have a hospital stay with your child or loved one, know that you can always speak up. You have a say in who cares for you. 

After being awake and mad for a few hours the reality of another surgery set in. The Fontan didn't scare me. We knew it was coming and we were prepared. We kept Santi healthy and quarantined for a few weeks leading up to it.  Going into it, I knew he had all the strength he'd need for a successful surgery. 

Todays surgery is unexpected. Santi has been in-patient for a week. He's recovering from major OHS. He has been in physical contact with more people here than he was at home, Healthcare providers who are in contact with many other people who could potentially be sick. His incisions are healing and he's been poked for blood draws numerous times, potentially exposing him to infection. He has had poor nutrition with his clear liquid fruit only diet for the past few days. His body is tired. What if it's too tired?

Please help us get through today safely and back on the road to recovery. 

In other news...Santi received a wonderful surprise yesterday! His heart buddy Maverick, in NY, sent over a thoughtful gift and a big balloon. Oh that smile! He was so excited. Thank you Mav, Nikki and Charlie!! You made his day!